Vegas, Baby!

Poker Chips falling with dramatic lighting

“What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”

That’s the saying, right? But what about when a night out in Sin City turns into a complete circus?

I was in Las Vegas celebrating one of my best friend’s 25th birthday. We planned out our trip to make the most of it- including a designated night to go clubbing. Like a damn scene out of The Hangover, the night quickly turned into a full blown sh*t show.

My best friend, let’s call her Amy, noticed on Instagram that her ex-boyfriend, let’s call him Joey, was in Las Vegas celebrating his one-year anniversary with his current girlfriend. We ended up running into Joey leaving one of the casinos and in an effort to be nice to the new girlfriend (and with a passive-aggressive screw you, I know you hate me because I’m the ex-girl but you can’t because I’m a sweetheart) Amy invited Joey and his girlfriend to come out with us that night. GREAT IDEA.

Everything started out tame, a few shots at our hotel and a pit stop at Ghostbar in The Palms for happy hour. Once we all met up at Caesar’s, I could quickly tell that Joey had an even earlier start than we did at destroying his liver. We all get up to the roof top patio and start dancing and drinking, true Vegas style. Joey must have thought he was Bill Gates because he was buying $19 cocktails like they were cheaper than the “ladies” we saw walking the strip.

As the bottles keep popping and the hours pass by, Joey has gone into fill blown drunk douchebag mode. At one point, he asked Amy’s grandmother (Yes we brought her to Vegas with us, and yes she went clubbing with us) which girl was his girlfriend. Looks like the alcohol blurred his vision AND his entire memory of the past year.

After copping a feel on grandma and tossing his glass of vodka over the balcony and on to the Vegas strip, we decided we had gotten crazy enough and it was time to call it a night. Oh but how wrong we were…

In the Uber ride home, Amy gets a storm of texts from Joey that start off with the typical drunken “I miss you” and quickly escalate to the ever popular blunt confession of “I wanna f*** you.” NO I AM NOT KIDDING. And Amy’s response… “I broke up with him once, you would think he got the hint.” My best friend ladies and gentlemen.

However, Amy is really a sweetheart so when she got a Facebook message from Joey’s girlfriend, she felt the need to help diffuse the situation. Ready for the ultimate d-bag move… JOEY HIT HER. Punched her square in the face after they got into it back at their hotel and then locked her out of their room. But the girlfriend had Joey’s phone and read all the texts the newly crowned Ray Rice had sent to Amy.

We’re not too sure how the rest of the night played out for Chris Brown and Rihanna but one of the girls in our group flew home the next day. While walking in the airport, she came across a very angry and hungover Joey sitting alone in the terminal corner eating a piece of pizza. No girlfriend in sight.

Sounds like one hell of an anniversary huh? Should’ve just bought her some knock off Tiffany’s and called it a day. Lesson learned Joey, better luck next time pal.


Just living life and loving every moment. Just Jordyn.



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